Russell Brand, do I need to say more? Apparently I do and I will keep this as direct as possible. For those of you who have read my previous postings you know that the Detroit Douche gets pretty worked up at times and this is no different.

Russell Brand is a flat out Douche Bag; I do repeat this guy is a hard core Douche Bag. Seriously, look at the picture that is at the top of this posting…this is him on a good day. This is what he looks like when he gets up in the morning and looks in the mirror. How can he not feel like a Douche Bag himself? So from the land that brings you crooked teeth, bad breath, drunken soccer fans and Simon Cowell; they also bring you the biggest Douche Bag in all of Europe.

Where do I start, is it the bad hair that looks like he was electrocuted and hasn’t washed it in 4 months, is it molester moustache, is it those gay ass tight pants that he wears, or is it the belt that he wears over his hips on an angle like a chick? This guy has issues and I did my research to find out…good ole Wikipedia says “His parents separated when he was six months old. Brand had a quite isolated and lonely childhood.” Go figure, another messed up person who had a messed up childhood; what are the chances? This is just like that scene in Big Daddy when Adam Sandler and that little boy he is watching make fun of the guy in the Trench coat walking through Central Park. They yelled to him “its ok, your dad still loves you” and he starts crying. This is that scene in real life, Russell Brand had a messed up childhood and it turned him into the biggest Douche Bag in Europe.

Parents Divorced + No Dad present + Lonely Childhood = Douche Bag

Not only is this guy not funny, you can’t understand a word that he says. I know that the Brits have an accent but you can’t make sense out of any two words he says. Its kind of cool listening to most of them speak and the perception over here in the States is that they usually sound more intelligent, until you here this stuttering idiot. I don’t think he can speak with out mumbling. Oh, that’s right; his parents weren’t around to give him the proper support in the house when he was a kid so he grew up not only a Douche Bag but one that can’t speak either.

Now to the part that gets this guy from Detroit a bit riled up, he had the balls to talk smack about our current election. I guess that shouldn’t be a surprise with the fact that we have a so called second coming in Barrack Hussein Obama and he is a fan favorite throughout a majority of the socialistic European Union. But this Douche Bag who is not even from our country was low enough to talk about the current contending VP’s 17 year old daughter. Get a life you dirt bag, again; I will revert back to what I said in the opening paragraph…look at yourself in the mirror. Not only are you ugly you are not even funny. Do your self a favor and go see a shrink and a speech pathologist.

I could go on but I don’t feel like writing any more, Russell Brand is a Douche Bag who needs to go back London, watch soccer, drink beer and eat fish and chips like everyone else on that island in the North Atlantic.

Until next time,

The Detroit Douche

Diddy Blog, Diddy Blog, Diddy Blog! Wow, what have things come to when Diddy has a weekly video blog? Well for those of you haven’t been watching the news this past week, you’ve missed a lot. Sarah Palin was welcomed with arms wide open by the American people and John McCain was viewed by almost 1 million more people than the second coming; Barack Hussein Obama.

In the mean time, the left was furious that a normal woman with conservative values was on the ticket. And guess what….she is good looking, smart and people like her. She has been getting attacked in the media like no one has ever seen. Its ok to question her worthiness to be on the ticket but not Barack Hussein Obama’s; how ironic. So a day or two goes by, she gets blasted by analysts on CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times chimes in and she gets shut down on the covers of US and People magazines. We’ve seen it all right? Think again, Puff Daddy, Sean Combs, Puffy, Sean John…oh I mean Diddy decided to chime in. Fell free to see him in his finest work by going to youtube and search “Diddy Blog”.

Lets just say he puts together such solid arguments as “they aint no crack heads in Alaska” and “Palin aint got no foreign policies”. Wow, I don’t know about you about you but those are some compelling arguments from Diddy. Hearing people like him is embarrassing to the people of the United Sates. I understand that we have freedom of speech but times like this make me wonder if it should be keep to a certain IQ level.

I had no idea this clown had a Diddy Blog but apparently he does and let me tell you, he seems like quite the intellect. I never really paid too much attention to him but I gave him some credit. He has had a few decent songs but let me stress the phrase “a few decent songs”. After hearing his blogs you will realize why this guy is a dumb ass and you will hopefully, like me; realize how in the heck he ever made it as far as he has. It is evident when you hear his dumb ass talk that he doesn’t have an ounce of education to his credit. It also becomes very clear that the only reason he ever made it was because of Biggie passing away. It’s sad, but true! The Diddy Douche was a nobody until he made that song I’ll be Missing You. Can’t you remember? He was that tool in the video with Biggie and his only line in the whole song “tell your friends to get with my friends and we can be friends, is that ight witch you?”

The length of this posting could be of epic proportions but I will keep it short for the Douche List’s sake. There is a pretty funny response from a comedian about the Diddy Blog if you want to check it out Will Hatcher is his name http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3IfYxZyF1g

Diddy, do us a favor; keep your ignorant rear end out of politics until you can argue a point that is some what relevant. The more people like you chime in and sound like a complete imbecile the better it is for the for McCain Palin ticket. So in your words, “Vote or Die” you may be better suited to take the latter.

If you haven’t noticed he took that blog down ASAP because he was hammered so quickly by the Obama supporters. Could you imagine if a white conservative would have called out Obama?

Keep yo head up ya’ll! I’m sure Diddy will strike again

Sincerely

The Detroit Douche

Well after a rough childhood in “the city of COMPTON”  Marion Suge Knight went and played some college football and soon after, he played for the LA Rams in the NFL.  Not bad for a kid from the streets.  Wait a second that’s common of the NFL.  Oh yeah he was also on the Deans List in college.  Anyways after his short lived NFL career he ventured on to Hip Hop music.  He actually was kind of a mastermind, he started up Death Row Records.  This label included Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg, 2 Pac and other well known rappers of the 90’s.  He had the most successful empire in the industry, if he was smart we could be mentioning his name with Russell Simmons, Puff Daddy and Jay Z as one of the largest Hip Hop moguls in history.  But his Douchiness started to become very relevant.  Lets put it this way by the demise of this empire he had lost all the big name players and actually signed MC Hammer.  I am not in this business but I do know that is not a smart move.  Ok now that I have given you a brief background of this GanstaDouche let me get to the top ten reasons he is a Douche.

1. Beat up Vanilla Ice
2. Violates probation quarterly
3. Lost the most successful rap label
4. Signed MC Hammer
5. Got 2 Pac Killed
6. Got Biggie Smalls Killed
7. Paid someone $5K to punch Dr. Dre in the face
8. Got pulled over doing a U-turn and had the sticky icky icky in his car
9. In 2006 filed bankruptcy.  The bankruptcy papers stated his bank account had $11, and he owned clothing worth $1,000, furniture and appliances valued at $2,000, and jewelry worth $25,000.  The key to this is his jewelry was worth more than anything else he had.  Complete Douche.
10. Last but not least he was recently knocked out by a man outside a club after Suge and his homies jumped this man.  The man One Punched Suge.  Lets take a look at the Tale of the Tape.     Marion “Suge” Knight 6’4’’ 300+ lbs   VS Man who knocked him out  5’11’’ 220lbs.

I am not sure how many of you are Hip Hop fans but I am, and I had the pleasure of watching all of this take place since the 90’s.  This unfortunatley does not put Suge in the Hip Hop Hall of Fame; however, it does place him in the Douche List Hall of Fame.